11/26/14- Gratitude Attitude

Happy Thanksgiving! Reflection is in the air with the holidays upon us and the subsequent end of the year. I think, regardless of the contentious politics of a Holiday that celebrates a shared meal between the Pilgrims of Plymouth and the Native Americans who were already in North America,  a holiday that allows us to break bread with friends and family and offer up thanks to each other is a great thing. Daily Gratitude is something that I have been working on my therapy sessions and as part of my daily practice. I admit it is not always easy for me to really FEEL a connection to the things that I write down. Having a holiday, friends, and a public forum like a blog to put things out into the air helps, though. Additionally, reflection is important whenever crafting a plan and goals because experience may fix your guiding star. With that spirit in mind I present my Top ten Thanksgiving gratitude list-

This year I am thankful for (in no particular order):

1. Health and Fitness – They say if you don’t have your health you don’t have anything. I am thankful that I am able to walk around, breathe, run, jump, climb, kick, swim. I know physical fitness fades and there are many people who don’t have the luxury of health that many take for granted.

2. Friends- I have some truly awesome friends and am happy to be sharing thanksgiving with some of them. There would be too many to list individually, but I want to give a shout out to the talented actress, writer, producer Samantha Barrios who will be hosting this year. She is a source of positive, bright love in the universe and for me. thank you always Sam.

3. Living Space and Environment- I am thankful everyday for my truly awesome condo. I keep working on making my living space and environment a place of classy, ambiance, and relaxation for me. I’m also just super thankful for the shelter! Many people don’t have that or are homeless. Many don’t have clean running water or a toilet! I have two. I am excited and happy to be taking on an apartment-mate in the New Year as well! Rock on Matt Riker!

4. Writing- I have been working on a novel this past year and I have completed a 500 (or so) pages of something. I am about half-way through a re-write and I am thankful for my former role-playing group- Jack, Phil, Sam, Abby, Matt M., Matt B., and Emelie for some inspiration. And I am thankful that I get to live in the world of my own creation, making up stories.

5. Acting- I love performing and creating stories (like I said above) and each and every acting opportunity has allowed me to do that. I’m thankful for the couple of TV roles I got this past year and my team of Susan Nathe and Assoc. who have helped facilitate that. I’m excited to have been cast in the Actor’s CoOp production of Pride and Prejudice and the opportunity to act a little more in the next year as well.

6. Flexible day Job- I tend to complain a lot about my day job, because it isn’t my passion in life. However, I am consistently thankful that I have a paycheck, health benefits, the flexibility to pursue creative endeavors, and a pretty good group of people that I work with to make the fact that it isn’t my heart’s desire, at least somewhat bearable. Many people would feel very lucky to have the job I do, so I do not want to take that for granted.

7. Therapy- Every week I have a safe place to talk about my thoughts and feelings and become more self-aware. I think one of the challenges I’ve encountered in my life has been learning about who I am, the good and the bad, accepting that, and then learning to be authentically myself. I am thankful that I have a place and a format to do that in.

8. Relationship- Okay this is a weird one because my relationship of almost two years recently came to an end. It wasn’t my longest relationship, however, it may have been my most intense. I am thankful for it, in spite of the pain of it ending because I learned a lot about myself and about communicating with another person. I am left with some very happy memories of time spent with someone I truly care about.

9. Goals- I am thankful for my ambition and the goals that I have and the fact that I take small actions everyday to try to achieve them. I may never arrive, but I am thankful for the journey.

10. Change- I am thankful that life is constantly in motion. I’ve felt a bit stagnant in the last couple years and am thankful that I see a possibility and the opportunity for new and exciting things to happen. Onward and upward!

11/7/14 – Quick Update

Greetings!  It has been a while. I’ve been remiss with keeping up with my blog partly because I really haven’t had any extended thoughts that I would like to share. However, they say brevity is the soul of wit (well someone says that), so I thought I’d punctuate the day with a quick bullet point update:

• In therapy I have been working on a “terms and purpose” exercise. The idea is to codify in very simple terms the rules I live by. These are things that I already do (or would like to do) for the most part. Example: “I take care of my health” is one of mine. The second half of the exercise is to codify my greater “purpose”. I’ve done this exercise before and written loads on it periodically in my personal journals. Lately, I’ve been having a little more trouble as artistically and vocationally I am in a period of  flux. I’m not sure how I would like to move forward. I’m open to any tips readers out there might have that have helped them in this arena! Leave a Comment Below.
• Recently I attended my sister’s engagement party. Large family gatherings are always difficult for me because I’m an introvert (I usually put on a good mask of cordiality, but it’s an effort). It’s also difficult because the inevitable questions of “What do you do?” “Have I seen you in anything?” always come up. I’m fortunate because I can point to my recent appearances on SCANDAL or the B-Flick Nazis at the Center of the Earth (available on Netflix) as stuff people can watch. Still, it’s difficult to not feel a little down that maybe I’m not as successful as I would like, or the blank stares of not-quite-understanding why someone wants to be an artist. I have a lot of friends who just lie about what they do. What we do is often a label for others of who we are. What are your strategies (if you aren’t already one of my famous friends) for coping or making it through these occasions? Leave a Comment Below.
• Currently plugging away at my novel. I’m about half-way through a re-write and am really enjoying the story I’ve created, but very anxious to have it all done. Soon enough I hope to have a few friends take a look and get their reactions and then try to start putting it out there. Any folks in the writing world have any suggestions? Create a facebook page first? Commission artwork? Look up agents? Perhaps I get ahead of myself, but it’s something that’s taking up a lot of my time and thoughts these days so… Leave a Comment Below.
• Finally I am very happy to be appearing in a staged reading of Arcadia in North Hollywood 11/16/14 at 5PM.  Check out the LATEST NEWS section of my site for all the latest updates and info on this. Let me know if you want to see. Leave a Comment Below.

Until next time… As the great Stan Lee would say: EXCELSIOR!

3/13/13- Endurance- “Press on Regardless”

Shackleton’s Ship- The Endurance

The Irish have a phrase: Press on Regardless. This week the Celtic mantra is more instructive for me than ever as I have driven all over town to auditions for commercials, theatre, workshops, etc. and so far nothing has born fruit. I’ve also had the misfortune of having to replace a tire on my car (the old one developed a “bubble” from an abrasion and was unsafe to drive) which was pretty costly for me, while having other planned expenses due, and getting everything organized for my 2013 Tax Return. Oy! But through it all I’ve continued to clock in at my full time job and complete my Daily Acting Checklist which includes reading an acting article every day, submitting myself online, maintaining industry contacts through e-mail and snail-mail, updating my fans on social media, working on my vocal exercises, and writing.

That’s what “Press on Regardless” is all about I think: continuing to accomplish the tasks you’ve set before yourself even when everything seems hopeless. Believe me, I’ve had a lot of moments this week where things have felt this way. Dealing with financial issues can seem especially tough. There are a few practices that have helped me “Press on Regardless”.

1. Breath- I’ve read some Eckhart Tolle this year, gone to therapy weekly, and read some of the How to Think Like Leonardo, all of which I’ve discussed in previous blogs. All of these things have one suggestion in common: a practice of meditation through breath. This can be as simple as taking a few conscious deep breaths in and out at some point during the day. This practice helps clear my mind and bring my awareness and focus to the present moment. I am not my job, my bank account, my worries, or my fears. I am alive, a part of the world around me, breathe in and out. It’s sounds totally granola and ridiculous, but it can help me refocus and not get lost in feelings of despair.

2. Gratitude- Breath can often lead me to gratitude because it connects me to all the things I do have: life, health, a mind, and then more superficially: shelter, a job, transportation, a warm bed, good people in my life. I make it a task to write some of these things down every day  as part of my Daily goals. Even though I wish this came more naturally to me without forcing myself to do it, I’ve found that I will not focus on them unless I make them a task. The hope is that making it a daily task, will make it a habit, making something a habit transforms your rituals and your thinking. If one’s rituals and thinking and focus are positive, one stacks the deck in favor of success.

3. Movement- I always feel better when I get my body moving. I have to focus on the physical task at hand whether it be a shoulder press while balancing on one leg, a Yoga Sun Salutation (I’m currently working on P90X2), blocking punches or kicks in Kung Fu, or reaching for the next hold on a climbing wall. The benefits of physical activity are myriad: keeps the body healthy, reduces stress, focuses the mind, improves mood. It’s like P90X founder Tony Horton says: Just keep pushing Play.

4. Service- being social and having support of friends and family is paramount to human function. We are social creatures and we need friends and family around us to live. One of the things I’ve found that I am good at is encouraging other to “Press on Regardless” during their dark times. As I support them in achieving their goals, I am really reinforcing myself and helping myself through my own struggles by doing so. This week I am meeting with an Actor’s Power Group which I mentioned in my last blog on “Forming a Tribe”. I really hope that I can be of service to these folks and help them realize their goals and in turn accomplish my own by doing so.

Tony Robbins, the Personal Power guru talks about how successful people achieve success- They create habits and rituals that set them up for success. If you create a habit and ritual of “Press on Regardless” I believe you build the skill of Endurance. Endurance is a skill that is essential to success in any field from athletics to business.

It’s not easy. Sometimes focusing on the task at hand feels pointless when little results are yielded by the effort. Focusing on gratitude feels false, like putting a big pink bow on a pile of dung. Let’s not forget that Shakleton (an Irishman) lost his ship, The Endurance, in the Antarctic Ice. And though his efforts saved his crew and made him a hero, he died in debt after several failed business ventures and never attained the success, fame, or fortune he so craved in his own lifetime.

I suppose the final point to be made here is that in order to Press on Regardless, one needs to have faith…. Calculated faith. The point is not to continue heading to the South Pole when your ship is stuck in the ice. One always has to realistically assess the situation- Don’t make it better than it is, but don’t make it worse. Create a plan of action based on the knowledge you have at the time and trust in the plan. Readjust when necessary.

I work in downtown LA and often walk by the building site for the planned Broad Museum. For the past year it has been a messy construction zone, though the plans for the finished product are beautiful. With life, there isn’t always a fancy artist rendering of what the final picture will be. But I figure if I make a plan, continually try to improve upon it, and Press on Regardless, embrace that it might be a struggle at times, the end result might be pretty amazing!

The Broad Museum

 

 

2/7/13- What do you do when you lose heart?

What do you do when you lose heart?

Recently I was in my therapist’s office… admission: yes I see a therapist. (I decided this year that I wanted to utilize this tool that I am fortunate to have at my disposal as part of a support team for acting and just for life in general. And so far I think it has been pretty helpful). Anyway, I was telling my therapist that I have been feeling a general malaise in terms of my life and career. I have worked hard and consistently. I have tried to keep a positive attitude (always difficult for me). I have tried to fill my time with activities, friends, and a support system. But still, I have days and sometimes weeks where it just feels all for naught. I still don’t support myself financially through my art, I feel as if I am not living up to my potential, and the progress I have made feels so small in comparison to where I want it to be that it might as well be discounted. For me, this leads to boredom, depression, and a general feeling of “What’s the point? My life sucks. Can’t win, don’t try.”
To compound this I recently took an Understudy Role for a play (not my first choice… understudying rarely is). It’s difficult to hear actors read a part that I wanted. I’ve had several friends finally grab some outstanding success in their careers and post about it on facebook (as they should). It’s always fantastic to hear about friends who have worked really hard making their dreams and goals happen. But it’s also hard for me when I am not feeling like I am in the same boat. And on the opposite end, I’ve had a very, very talented friend who certainly deserves all the success in the world (if talent were indeed the only factor), call it quits. He is currently making plans to leave LA.
So here I am trapped in the middle, left with the question of what to do when I feel this way.
Fortunately, I have had a few things that have come up for me that may provide an answer, at least in the short term.
The first is my therapist suggested I refocus on the goals I laid out for myself this year and also complete an exercise. He suggested I write in approximately three sentences or so, what my purpose is. I looked at him skeptically and said “you mean my purpose on planet Earth?” He responded calmly, “yes.” Holy crap! What a simple exercise and at the same time daunting (for me at least- and Yes the Avenue Q song started to play in my head). I’m not sure I’ve ever really considered human beings to have a specific purpose. Characters in stories have a purpose, a destiny. And I suppose religious people feel as if they have some sort of pre-ordained purpose. But life isn’t exactly a neat little story book and I am not religious. But I hope through actually answering this question, I will be able to really hone in on what I am doing with myself and my time and make a shift towards seeing everything that I am doing as fulfilling my “purpose” in my time here in this world. I suppose if I feel like every day I am fulfilling my purpose to some degree, my boredom and malaise will be diminished.
The second is that I recently re-watched a video of Arnold Schwartzeneger talking about filming the movie Pumping Iron. When I was a kid, Arnold was Herculean, not just in physical stature, but in personality and social stature as well. He was easy to worship as a heroic icon as the star of all those terrible 80’s action movies like Conan the Barbarian, Predator, Commando, and of course, The Terminator. Now as an adult, I think Arnold is an ego-maniac whose hubris led him out of his depth running the State of California and to destroying his marriage and his family. But the fact of the matter is that he was extremely successful and overcame the adversity of being a foreigner to this country, not speaking the language, and pursuing a career in professional sports, acting, and then politics (none of which are known for being tremendously easy to pursue). In the video, he explains why he was always so happy and joking around as he worked out in the gym. He said that it was because he knew that every repetition, every curl of the bar, was a step towards achieving his goals and his dreams. Though his body was strong, it was his mind that pushed through the physical pain, because he knew that it was going to help him be successful. In hindsight it’s easy to think “of course” as if his success was pre-ordained. And it’s also easy to ask the question of “what of all the others who felt the same way and didn’t succeed?” Regardless, Arnold’s success was not pre-ordained and therefore the attitude is impressive. His focus was in believing that every moment, every activity, was a step towards the success he craved. So of course he was happy and energized when he worked hard and was in pain.
He said he applied the same work ethic and philosophy to his acting. He was very clear about what he wanted and every bit of work in acting class and on set was a step toward achieving it. I also appreciated that he was also realistic in the sense that he said, don’t fool yourself: everyone fails. You don’t become successful without failing. He could never have lifted 500lbs. without trying and failing first. The people who are successful acknowledge this fact of life and don’t care about failure. They pursue their goals anyway. So again, if one knows his purpose, and then views everyday as fulfilling it, taking steps towards making it a reality. That has got to be invigorating on a cellular level.
Finally, I watched a Dallas Travers video concerning “finding your inner superstar”. Dallas Travers is a sort of motivational coach for actors and frequently sends out videos of tips for encouraging actors emotionally and managing their careers. I’ve never worked with her personally, but have friends who think she’s fantastic and I have found her free online videos helpful. In this case, she suggested an exercise to identify my three favorite actors and write, for each of them, three reasons (without mentioning their physical appearance) that explain why they are my favorite. And then to take that same exercise and apply it to myself in terms of why I am a performer and writer worth watching and reading. This will help identify what I have to offer as an artist that is unique to me. Again I feel this goes with the theme that is sort of about fulfilling purpose. When one knows his purpose, when one is striving towards it every day, and then when one identifies what it is that makes him or her uniquely capable of achieving it, a sense of fulfillment has to come right?
Hopefully that’s the case.

So that’s how I am going to attempt to answer the question of “What do you do when you lose heart?” But now I want to know, what do you do when you feel this way? Do you get outdoors and reconnect with nature? Do you think about service to others? Or is there an activity that calms your spirit like Tai Chi or Yoga? Feel free to comment below! Thanks for reading.

12/26/12- Year in Review

Thought I would take a moment to briefly outline what I was able to get accomplished this year and talk about my thinking for the next.

This year was a very good year for habit forming and foundation building which is sort of always on the agenda.  I had some goals to create a stronger foundation for my acting business and some hopes for how that would pay off for the year. I’m just going to briefly outline some things I wrote down for myself. In no particular order-

My New Condo Complex.

1. In Nov. 2011 I purchased a Condo in Monterey Hills (Near Highland Park).  I know technically it has been over a year, but this was a big purchase and I like to remind myself that this was a move that I made in order to stretch myself financially and personally.  It was a big step to take to become a home OWNER and create a more full and solid life for myself in terms of making my commute easier, change up my surroundings and mentality, diversify my equity.  Etc. I would not have been able to do this without inheritance savings and contributions from my parents for which I am very grateful.  And sometimes it’s still scary because I am now attached to a property/location and all the financial responsibility in a way I wasn’t before. But really, if things get bad, I can always get a roommate, and if I need to move, I can sublet the property.  I believe that owning is always a better step than renting because when I pay my mortgage I know it is going to paying off a loan, rather than going to a landlord (ie-money I will never see again).  Additionally I have a nice lovely space in a beautiful area, which is still a work in progress in terms of being decorated (now to get money and time to do that… LOL.)

Now a card Carrying member.

2. I performed in 3 plays this year (one short piece).  I was in a show of One Acts through my writers group, a production of Twelfth Night, and the pre-show short- Sonnets for my Son through Vanguard Rep.  All very good experiences.  And then I decided to finally join The Actor’s Equity Association, the professional Union for Stage actors. Through that I was able to audition for venues like the Old Globe, Lake Tahoe Shakes, and Idaho Shakespeare Festival. Just another step toward making the stage for my acting and arts broader.

3. I re-did my theatrical Reel.  Wanted to get some of the footage from the Student films and shorts that I had been working over the past several years into my theatrical reel.  While the experiences of doing those projects is invaluable, the footage is hardly seen by folks outside of the circle of those who worked on the projects. Hopefully I have something that shows a far more wide-array of things I can do acting-wise. (you can see it on the main page here).

4. I re-did my website.  I decided that I no longer wanted to be paying for services that I felt I wasn’t utilizing.  To that end I stopped paying for Nowcasting and the service of my website being through them.  I learned how to use WordPress and created a website that I don’t have to pay a monthly fee for.  I had already purchased the domain name last year so all it took was time and effort.  www.adamburch.net is the result.  And I have written a couple blog entries too.  Which I hope to continue.  I hope to maybe write a little bit less more consistently in the future.

Me as a Nazi “Zombie” in Nazis at the Center of the Earth. (props to Carleigh Herbert and JoEllen Elam for the Make-up!)

5. I was the lead in a Chapman Thesis film- Chester Briggin’s Magic Blood, the film I was in Nazis at the Center of the Earth came out on DVD/BluRay, I was in another low budget Asylum film 40 Days and 40 Nights, I booked the web-series The Valley which shot in SF at the end of the year.  I also got several auditions for TV shows including Hot In Cleveland,  Ben and Kate, and the Jersey Boys movie mostly based off of my workshops/self-submissions.  Also had numerous commercial auditions.

A Good place for CD Workshops.

6. I signed up for the Actor’s Key and began to regularly attend workshops. This summer I watched the Dallas Travers free videos and finally narrowed down the list of Casting directors I wanted to target and began just pursuing meeting those people.  I was able to mail them throughout the year four times so that every 3-4 months or so I sent them letters letting them know what I was up to and ask about their projects.  I also asked about being a reader at the Actor’s Key.

7. I began reading an Industry article a week, whether it was about a movie I wanted to see, marketing tips, or inspirational messages.  I felt like doing this and in a casual, but consistent way, my mind kept focused on me being IN the industry and allowing the way I was playing in the game to expand.

8. I got a New agent. Though this was a goal for the year, I didn’t actively pursue it until it was a necessity. I had hit up some friends with very reputable agents and did a showcase at the beginning of summer with 0 response (Other than the standard- we have your type, not seeking clients right now, you have no credits/not interested).  My then current manager sold his management company.  He then became an agent at a company that was bought out.  He landed at a new agency while, jockeying to become an agent at a higher level company. He was finally accepted, but could not take any of his clients that didn’t have substantial credits with him. So I was out of a theatrical agent.  I put out a message on Facebook and a friend who was working in the office of Agent Susan Nathe said he could set up a meeting.  Not only was she super-cool, she was willing to rep me across the board. This move was a no-brainer.  And my fingers are crossed that this new partnership for the new year will be successful.

9.  I submitted myself to Actor’s Access (my main source of self-submission) every day this year. And I also began looking at the Equity auditions on their website once I joined.

10. I took a Voice Over class and am in the process of perhaps doing a Reel. This was a goal for this year that I feel will bleed into next since it isn’t quite complete.

Could use some work.

11. I took a couple voice lessons in preparation for my audition for the Jersey Boys Musical.  Unfortunately I don’t have much experience with musical theatre (only one show in college) but I think I could do it well if I had a little more consistent practice.  Basically it’s mostly about confidence singing in front of people. I play my guitar and sing plenty by myself.  It’s just not something I am used to doing in front of people. I had to do it for 12th Night this year in a small part of the play and I felt it came off well.  So I think this too will be something I could do… again it’s sort of time and energy… and how much I have to put in where.

Fantastic visions in my head.

12. I took my finished Sci-Fi action script and after a reading and endorsement of several professional writer friends, I submitted it to several screenplay competitions.  While I didn’t finish in the top 10 of any of these competitions, my script got some very good coverage/feedback and finished in at least the top half (of the competitions that told me).  I also submitted my web-series to a competition.  I also learned a valuable lesson- I think that many of these festivals are money making schemes and I didn’t hear back from several of the competitions I entered.  I think it really only matters to submit to the biggest ones where you will know you will get coverage on your writing, because otherwise you pay them money and never hear from them again if you don’t win. Additionally, I finished a draft of another feature length screenplay based on an idea I had worked on previously.  I’m still refining that one.

A Baby Taylor like the one I’ve got.

13. I bought a travel sized guitar to keep at work and play on my lunch breaks so that I could keep up my musical skills.  I would like to play with other people more regularly and take lessons again, but again time/money.  But glad I have access to play a bit more regularly.

Cloud Atlas was a brilliant book and a great movie.

14. I read several books including the entire Game of Thrones Series (five books and about a million pages LOL), What the Dog Saw, Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman, Cloud Atlas, currently reading Life of Pi.  I’m pretty sure I’ve read more, but this is all I can remember at the moment.

I highly recommend Stan Kirsch for his audition technique classes.

15.  Took classes at Stan Kirsch studios. This is a strictly audition technique class. Highly recommended.  Walked away feeling more prepared for auditions than ever and with several scenes for my workshops Only left due to financial constraints and feeling a bit burnt out.  When I head back to an acting class I am not sure where I will land.  I’d like to do something that feeds my “soul” a bit acting wise as well as business.  But I don’t know what that is right now.  I know the importance of being in a class consistently, but I just don’t know where I want to head at the moment.

I wish I were a Fire or Water Bender.

16.  I quit Kung Fu- after 5 years, a black sash, and some great skills learned. Unfortunately I decided the commute and the broken noses and that the danger of a repeat injury like that at this particular school made the benefits I got from martial arts no longer worth it.  It was a sad and tough decision for me, but I think necessary, especially at my level to see what else is out there.  I hope to start at a new school sometime in the new year and I am still looking, while in the meantime attending meet-up groups and seeing when I can do some informal training for free.

My last car was a hybrid. I would like my new one to be as well.

17. Was in 2 car accidents this year.  One my fault, the other not.  The second of which culminated in me needing to buy a new car.  I am on the lookout now and excited to be adding this new addition to my base of operations which is constantly improving!

How do YOU feel you did this year?

18. I began to see a therapist this year.  This is something I have wanted to do for a while to deal with any depression/discouragement and negative attitude I have carried with me.  I have very good insurance and so my therapist costs very little a session for unlimited session, though it is far away on Monday mornings.  But I am glad to also have this in my arsenal for the new year.

19.  Started an RPG group and we met about 6-7 times.  I wrote 150 or so pages of the story of the “adventure” our little group has been on. The sessions have been so much fun and I am very proud and fulfilled by the writing I have done for the group.

Bring it!

20.  Exercise.  I completed the P90X2 program and then a subsequent hybrid with Insanity the Asylum.  I then did the Insanity program, and the Insanity Asylum program 2x’s.  All in all I worked out intensely around 320 days this year.  The other 40 days I attribute to weeks I took off in between programs to let my body recover.  Hopefully I can continue the trend in the new year injury/illness free. Looking forward to starting some new Programs.

21.  I began to watch a lot of the Dallas Travers stuff and break my big goals down into 6-8 week plans where I accomplished smaller tasks on a more consistent and regular basis.

22. I did this all while maintaining my 40 a week day job.  I also did this while bringing my tardies down considerably (moving closer to work helped a lot in this regard. Especially since I was in danger of losing my job due to not being able to get to work on time). This is what pays my bills right now and I would really like to transition away from it, I haven’t found anything better to do as a day job without returning to school and pursuing a degree in something else.  I am always on the lookout for something better and will be actively looking a little more I think in the new year simply because customer service is a grind, but I think it is important to acknowledge my achievements while working hours that most people work for a single job.  I have tried to pursue a career/life in the arts while holding this down.

Here are some things I did NOT accomplish this year that I outlined for myself.  If you notice, most of these are results I could not control rather than something I could do for myself:

1. Watch an episode of each show on TV to know what’s on and where I fit-  I am a terrible actor this way.  And while whenever I got an audition for something I watched the show, I did not really keep up with TV.  I no longer get cable so I only watch on my computer and Netflix streaming, and I suppose entertainment was something where I wanted to watch what I wanted rather what I SHOULD watch.  Additionally, I don’t have that much time to sit and watch.  I am out doing more often than not.

2. Once a week reach out to someone in the industry I’d like to work with- This was a good suggestion that a friend made to me.  And I sort of took as writing to really big folks I wanted to work with.  But I think an easier thing would just be to go down my list of friends and touch base with people I know already a bit more.

3. Take a commercial acting class. I really want my career to start making some substantial money so that I can transition away form my day job.  Commercial auditions are the only thing (or seemingly so) on the table that have the potential to allow me to do this.  Unfortunately I have never booked a commercial, and my call back ratio isn’t even that good! And on top of it, I wasn’t too fond of commercials before and my lack of success has made me like them even less.  I don’t know how I feel about not doing this goal.  Even when I have had a positive attitude about commercial auditions, it hasn’t really helped me book.  It’s hard not to be results oriented in this category because as positive as I have been about the auditioning experience, it’s still hard to find standing around and grinning fulfilling.

4. Book a national commercial.  See above.  Didn’t happen.

5. Book Co-Star on Major TV show.  I got more auditions for these this year than before (like 4-5), but still an incredibly hard ratio to book.  10-12 guys saying “Hey Ben what’s up?”- hard to be the guy that’s the number 1 choice unless you have more opportunity for that.

6. I wanted to book a bigger lead in a feature.  Technically I achieved this.  But it was low budget horror film.  Not exactly what I envisioned.
7. Make enough money to not work at day job full time.  While I made more money acting this year than before, it certainly wasn’t enough to drop my day job.

8. Start a 3rd script by summer’s end.  Still was working on script number 2 and blogging and writing for my RPG group has taken up most of the time.
9. Write a 20 minute short to showcase my acting, film it, and submit to festival. I’m not sure I am super interested in this goal other than the result that I would hope to get from it (IE- recognition notoriety).  And so I am not sure it is such a goal to pursue for next year unless I feel creatively spurred to write a short.

10. Get together with others to play music once a month, look into music lessons/songwriting lessons.  This fell by the wayside just due to time and money.  Folks I asked to play together kind suggested they were busy as well.  So while it may happen, I am not the only factor in the equation and other peoples’ schedules etc. are at work here and I can’t control that.  Lessons- again time and money.

11.  Look into a foreign language class.  I have some Learn spanish in the car on CD.  I know one of the CD’s skips so I stopped. But maybe I need to try these again.

12. Take a big vacation.  Did not have the money for that this year.

Pipe Dreams/Goals-

End of the year goal- Booking roles on television. Literary agent and hooks to work in the writing industry. 10%-20% of my income generated through acting and writing. Auditioning a lot, but working on set more. Part time at day job. Lead in movies.

Some of this happened, as much as I can control.  I am proud of what I achieved.  I wish I could move ahead a little faster.  It seems other people can.

5 year goals- Enough income to live in a house. Producing and starring in feature length movies. Knowing the heads of studios and other producers.  They know me.  A production company.  Writing projects being turned into major motion pictures. Acting in major films. Writing a novel.

10 year goals- Living in a house.  Working in an office near the beach writing with friends and partners.  3-6 months out of the year filming projects abroad (acting). Family. Vacation home in Hawaii. Author of book series and major films. Oscar buzz around a film I made.

Ayeyaeyae!

So those were goals that I wrote at the beginning of the year last year and set about accomplishing. I worked very hard to lay a foundation for some of the payoffs to happen.  But one of the things that has come up in therapy is attachment to things like commodities, money, recognition, etc.  And goals set with these things in mind are Results Oriented.  I’m a results kind of guy.  When I put work into something I want see it pay off.  And this year it has.  Maybe not as much as I would like, but it has.  Whether it’s working out and seeing results in the mirror, or going to Casting Director workshops and getting called in to audition. However, you really can control results to a minimal extent.  They are dependent upon circumstances outside of your own control for the most part. And so you can’t be too attached to them.  Which is especially difficult when society (and even people who are close to you) has the notion that you are your job, your finances, what you own, and what service you can do for others.

Money makes things easier.  It allows you to do things you want to do.  But if you only stay results oriented, focusing on things that are out of your control, rather than on things that are fulfilling and enriching, seems like a sort of boring soulless life.

So this year with my goals, I plan to be no less ambitious, but the tasks I have put before me will be more fun.  Less “hard” work. And while I can’t say I am completely devoid of this attachment (because the rub is I kind of hope that more results will come when I am less focused on them).

I’m hoping my theme for this year will be a little more go with the flow, stretch the boundaries, and doing things with a little more sense of adventure.  I want to keep in place all my good/hardworking habits, but shift my focus so they are just light and breezy rather than having a lot of weight and work attached to them.

Thank you for reading and being involved in a guidance/supportive role in my life.  The Renaissance in Europe which spawned the works of Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Boticelli, and later scientists like Galileo was only achieved through the patronage of wealthy donors.  They provided the guidance/support that allowed artists to achieve revolutions in their creative craft and thus the whole world benefited from this cultural rebirth.  I consider you folks my patrons if not my working peers!

Peace

Best to you in this new year!

-ADAM BURCH-