2/12/15- Creative Team Member

Sassy Miss

Opening weekend for Pride and Prejudice down. Our first review is in and it appears the show is a success. Check it out:

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

Here’s the part that mentions me:

“Still, it is Burch’s comedic tour-de-force as a fabulously foppish Mr. Collins that proves not only the evening’s most scene-stealing, but the most revelatory of Burch’s many terrific performances so far.”

It’s really nice to have my work appreciated in writing. But it’s even more satisfying to hear audience response to the show. It seems like they are really connecting which is all one can really ask for while performing.

In other news, my Actor’s Accountability Group met last week and we discussed our goals for the new year. It seemed that most people had a goal of creating some sort of project that would be a vehicle to showcase their own talents, whether they be writing or acting. I coincidentally met with a career counselor (I have been investing in this regard in the hopes of transitioning to a new, more fulfilling line of work), and something that came up for me was that I like working as a creative team-member/leader. I realized that I try to do a lot to organize my Book Club, my Accountability Group, my online writing/Roleplaying grou, and have tried to produce Web projects in the past. I suppose that some of these endeavors have seen more success than others, but it’s kind of what’s in my heart is at.

So while I am currently learning about publishing a book and will no doubt have to tackle a few re-writes, I’m looking ahead to a new, perhaps more collaborative project with some fellow artists. What are you working on? Comment below. 

1/30/15- The Shadow

This week something great happened. My friend, whom I’ve been working my weekly career accountability with, had a fantastic week full of auditions through his brand new agent and made progress on his career and projects. I am very proud of him.

It got me thinking, however, of something that I’ve worked on with my therapist: My shadow. The shadow is a concept in Jungian psychology that embodies the unconscious aspects of one’s personality that the ego does not identify with. The shadow is often negative parts of ourselves (though not always). The less the shadow is integrated into one’s conscious personality, the darker it may be and has the potential to manifest in destructive and unhealthy ways.

In my case, my work has been to identify things that bother me about other people and realize that these are aspects of my own personality or may be desires in my unconscious and not to do with them at all. It’s sometimes a difficult concept to really be aware of in everyday life. In regards to my friend, sometimes I feel his progress may be stagnated when he’s depressed or overwhelmed with how much there is left to go, as it were. (Who hasn’t been there?) Often times it seems that those feelings will take over and become excuses for not being active in his own career or for checking in or showing up to things.

At times when we would connect during the week and it felt like those depressive feelings were overwhelming him, I found myself getting quite frustrated. Why? His actions or lack thereof had nothing to do with me. I wasn’t feeling the depression that he was feeling necessarily? And sure sometimes it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t show up for an event when they said they would, but that’s no reflection of my own ability to show up or not. Why did it bother me?

I realized that those aspects are all part of my shadow, things I have in my own psyche that perhaps I am afraid of or maybe would even like to indulge in, but don’t allow myself to? I think additionally my inability to defeat my shadow when it manifested in another person (I have a strong desire to “help”) was also at play.

Part of the work has been acknowledging those aspects of my own personality and just letting them go.

This week, however, was different because my friend was doing so well! He has been working hard and making progress. And yet my shadow is still at play in the sense that just as he is independent of my shadow in defeat, so is he independent in victory.  His work and progress is all him. I’m just here for him to report to. Because ultimately we really aren’t accountable to each other for the work we do or do not do when we talk. It’s ourselves that we are creating accountability with. The phone call is just an excuse to do that. But I am glad he is there for me so I can. 

 

1/22/15- Career Accountability

January has turned into a pretty productive month for me. I feel that I’ve refined my daily checklist so that I work on my acting career a little each day, I write a little each day and have now finished the second draft of my novel which I’ve submitted to my book club.  I’ve attended three casting director workshops, had a few auditions, gone to a career counselor to start exploring my options outside of acting and working an hourly day-job, and am currently deep into rehearsals for the production of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE which performs at the Actor’s Co-Op in Feb. www.actorscoop.org

WHEW!

Soon I’ll meet with my accountability group to discuss all of this.

I got the idea for an accountability group from the acting guru Dallas Travers, who has groups of her own, but it’s by no means a novel idea. Groups like the Actor’s Network have been doing the same thing for a long time. I didn’t want to pay or subscribe to ANOTHER acting service (there are so many people who make a living off helping actor’s in LA and I just can’t afford to pay all of them) especially when I can organize my own group of friends. My group is a few trusted friends who are actors/writers/producers who get together about on a monthly basis to talk about where we are, where we’d like to be, set goals and timelines, and then meet again to assess progress. Sometimes it’s difficult to get everyone together. (Am I wrong in thinking that it’s easier for groups or women to organize and hang out together?)

I feel that I have a really strong muscle of working every day on my career. However, I also maybe do it in a pretty safe and standard way. Meeting with the group is about generating ideas on how to pursue things in unique ways and perhaps break out of the patterns of what everyone else is doing, but make sure that the actions are actually possible and sustainable. It’s a way for us to get together and brag, but also humble each other because as much as each of us does, more can always be done. But we support each other and it’s also a way to affirm that we’re each on different, unique path. While we provide models for each other, it’s important not to compare.

I think this year setting timelines and instituting actual rules for accountability are important. It does drive me a little nuts when I don’t meet my own goals and I think it’s important that we set timelines on our goals and actions more concretely.

How do you guys hold yourselves accountable for things? This can include everything from Weight Loss to Career goals… hit me up by replying below!

12/12/14- End of the Year Accountability

It’s the end of the year. My Accountability group met to discuss the goals we set for ourselves this year, what we accomplished, what we didn’t accomplish, and how we can improve while goal setting for the following year.

I have the advantage, or perhaps the curse of having written things down in a blog early last year. Wow! Going down the list I didn’t remember over half of these desires and goals! Some I achieved, some I didn’t even have on the radar or remember even setting for myself. In other cases, a year proved to be too short of a time to achieve what I wanted. However, without further adieu, here is my list from last year and what I did and did not do.

Overall Goal: Continue working hard, but with a lighter attitude.
I have to say I didn’t achieve this. I am a restless, un-contented person. I’m ambitious and intense. I work hard. I kill myself. I expect results. I did several things to try to make life more peaceful and fun- I went on a couple little vacations, I had a wonderful birthday party (I don’t usually have parties) with tons of great friends, I even went to Disneyland. But I can’t say that life was particular breezy and easy-going. I ended a very difficult relationship and struggled with ending my career in the arts. I worked very hard as always, but it was not an easy year.

1. Cultivate a positive attitude: I continued going to therapy on a weekly basis give or take a day here and there. I also made writing a daily gratitude list a part of my day to day goals and I definitely did this. I meditated more regularly than I have in the past. I even refocused on writing my life’s philosophy, purpose, and terms and hanging them on my bathroom wall. I don’t know that I have developed a more positive mental attitude overall, but I am certainly continuation the effort. I acknowledge that this is one of my biggest struggles in life as you can see from what I wrote for my overall goal. But I continue to put effort into it.
2. Take a more active role in finances: I didn’t do this. I don’t really care much about investing and learning about money. If I did I’d probably have a different occupation. On the other hand, I’ve always been able to pay my bills and save (even if it is consistently tight), so I’ve never had any problems with finances. I also made a little more money this year than last I think. So I don’t know if I can fault myself too much on this account. I am also taking on a tenant in the new year to generate more income.
3. Get a new day job: I’ve made no secret that my day job is a source of stress for me. I work 40 hours a week (feels like 80-90% of my life) having a survival job. The job is supposed to afford me time to act and write. The idea is to work toward being an artist full time. But art has not been able to be my sole source of income and I’d like 80-90% of my life to be doing something that at least is SORT of what I want to do. I was not able to have it be so this year. However, I did meet with a life coach who was great and super-positive, but felt didn’t really give me tangibles. Next year I am meeting with a more official career counselor and I am now at the point where my art will need to take a back seat in order for me to work on getting a career that I want. Thrive not survive is the new MO.
4. Fix up the living space and ride a bike to work: here is a category I succeeded in. I bought new furniture for my place, started painting and hanging my artwork, and in so doing beautified my living space. I am continuing to change and do things all the time. My bike, however, was stolen from my garage a month or so ago and I am out of luck in that department until I can afford a new one. That is on the menu for sure.
5. Community: Here is another area I succeeded in. I continued to meet with the Book Club and we read some great books including: This Book is Full of Spiders, Going Clear, Lamb, HP Lovecraft, My War Gone By I Miss it So, Devil in the White City, and In the Woods. I also met with my Accountability group (which is mostly for acting but not strictly) several times throughout the year. I mentioned I had a kickass birthday party (it was a Murder Mystery with Faeries, Vampires, Werewolves, and Wizards!). I also started going back to my writer’s and actor’s group a bit at the end of the year. I will also be doing another play in the coming year and to me theatre acting IS community. So I feel like I have done my part in trying to reach out to people for love and support just for fun and for career. One thing I would have liked to have done was get back together with a role-playing group. As of right now, it is basically through writing online which is fun, but lacks the power of the face to face narrative which I love.
6. Health- Here is another area I succeeded in. My goals were to rid myself of a nagging elbow injury, and then do the Body Beast and P90X2 workout programs. I also wanted to do Kung Fu, Rock climb, Surf, and a Mud Run. I also wanted to look like Brad Pitt from Troy or Henry Cavill from Man of Steel (yeah right). Well I pretty much accomplished MOST of those goals. Form Jan-March I completed the Insanity program and then some P90X+ while gearing up for a 5K race for the Los Angeles Children’s Hospital. I dropped down to like 150 lbs. to be light for the race and I ended up taking 9^th place overall. I think that’s pretty good for someone who hasn’t run competitively since High School. Then from April- Jun. I completed the Body Beast program and gained about 10 Lbs. so I was back at my original weight. (I’d like to be around 175 of solid muscle, but I’m just such an ecto-morph). I then did a P90X2/Insanity Asylum1 hybrid Program from July through the end of Nov. Now I am on Insanity Asylum2 and loving it. I also did a lot more rock-climbing and went to Eagle Claw Kung Fu two days a week! And I kept up with stretching, foam rolling, Yoga, and a little tai chi for recovery. Okay so I fell short on the Surfing and “Mud” part of the run. And I think I would have to do a lot less agility, a lot more weight lifting and pigging out to get big enough to match the guys in the movies. Of course there is always next year.
7. Clothing- I wanted t buy better clothing for myself. I actually bought a couple of suits and I wear the jackets all the time. But to be honest when money is tight, this tends to be the area that I neglect the most. It’s still on the list when I become a millionaire and famous though (of course then I’ll get the stuff for free).
8. 

   Creativity- I wrote a lot. I finished a draft of my novel. Started working on the second draft. Almost done. Hope to read it for my next book club book! I painted a lot more than I have before. I managed to still practice my guitar now and then as well. Acting is always happening too and got to do another Co-Star on SCANDAL! Not bad.

9. Headshots- Did not get new headshots. Not enough money.
10. Website- I continued to update my website. I had a period in the middle of the year where it felt pointless and slacked off but did well at the beginning and end of the year.
11. Reel- Did not re-tool my reel. I need to add the Scandal clips
12. Classes- I took the first level of Voice-over at Kalmenson and Kalmenson so I completed that goal.
13. VO Agent- I did not complete a VO Reel (lack of funds) so did not submit to get VO Representation, but it is still a goal.
14. Credits- I booked another Co-Star on Scandal. Would have liked to have worked more. But I am grateful for the amount I was able to do.
15. Casting Director Workshops-  I wanted to do 2 a month, but money did get tight. I hope to have some more funds in the new year so that if I WANT to still do workshops, I can. That remains a question right now though
16. Accountability- I kept up with my accountability group maybe not as much as I would like, but kept it up.
17. Sense of Play- See the top of this list. Maybe not great.

That’s it for now. We’ll be back in 2015! 

3/27/14- Connect with your “Why?”

Hey folks!  This week I had a really great week. I had auditions for a couple of short films, a feature, and was brought back as a Reporter on the TV show SCANDAL and got to act opposite the illustrious Kate Burton. Additionally, I stuck pretty well to my daily goals, am finishing up a block of P90X2 training in time for the Heart of the City 5K I am running to raise money for the California Hospital Medical Center (click the picture below to donate), and got to check in with my Power Group and Accountability partners and hear about all the actions and strides they are taking.

Click on the picture to donate to the California Hospital Medical Center!

 

 

However, not every week is a good week. There is always an ebb and flow. Indeed, Tuesday and Wednesday was back to the grind of working my day job and taking call after after call. Tickets R Us- Episode 4- Click to find out what a typical day at “Work” is for me.

Last week I posted about how it was important for me to “Press on Regardless”, to keep taking daily action and trying to place my focus on those actions even when things didn’t seem to be going so great.

Another thing I would like to mention this week is something very inspirational that came from my Actor’s Power Group. When we met a few weeks ago, we conducted mock interviews as a way to practice interviewing while at the same time using it as a meet and greet. Through the interviews we were able to hone in on our goals and aspirations and then use those goals as a jumping off platform to create a list of daily actions that each person could commit to.

Even though I came off as pretty polished in my mock-interview (already having good, definable career goals and descriptions of actions I was taking), one thing that the members of my group identified was that I was not connecting my goals to my passion. Apparently I had a great handle on what I was doing, but not why I was doing it. So one of my goals of the week was to reconnect with my why. The “why” for me is why I’ve chosen a profession as an actor and a writer. I started incorporating connecting my goals to my passion into my daily practice of writing 5 things at the end of each day that I am grateful for. I have been also writing down a reason why I have committed to being a storyteller along with my gratitude list. I’ve also realized that connecting with my “why” is also important for other areas in my life, not just career: why I seek to reach higher levels of physical fitness, practice my guitar, learning to rock climb, practice martial arts, paint pictures… whatever. I’ve always felt that it’s more important to just do things for the experience. But I am starting to realize it’s equally important to reflect on “Why” I want those experiences and to partake in those activities. When I am connected to my “why” I definitely feel that it’s easier to put my focus on taking action. I feel better about what I am doing and the path I have chosen, whatever that may be.

Inspiration

Give me a shout out. Tell me how you connect with your why and what that why is for you!