I’ve been trying to write a blog about goals and resolutions for the New Year and NOTHING seems to be working or sticking. I had a really great productive year last year in terms of acting, writing, and diversifying my life. The only reason to blog about this kind of thing is for my own personal accountability. So even though I don’t feel like doing it, I’m plowing through.
There is something in ALL the recent New’s Resolutions articles I’ve read that recognizes that making identifiable, definitive gains are often out of one’s own control. It makes sense. There are soon to be 8 Billion people on this planet. Technology has allowed civilization in the First World to have more control over our communication and environment than ever before. And yet the sheer number of people is straining the ecosystem creating unpredictable weather patterns, nuclear disasters, and ongoing conflict and war. The technologies that bind us (like e-mail, facebook, and twitter) also lead us to feeling more isolated and fragmented. The world is becoming smaller, and yet more overwhelming at the same time. On an individual level, we DON’T have control over any of it. We only have control over ourselves.
But I hate not having definable goals either. I can’t just dedicate myself to “Art” and have that be the resolution.
The answer for me, instead, is Balance. The inner life reflects the outer, but I am not someone who can think of resolutions in terms void of material gains. My mission consequently is to marry the undefinables with tracking of the definites and not be attached terribly to the results.
I totally plan to try this position this year.
I looked through my list of things I wanted for myself from last year and compared it to my year in review I posted last week as part of my tracking. I feel like I completed about half of my goals. Many that I did not complete were out of my control or unrealistic considering my time, finances, and level of commitment. But all in all I was very productive (feel free to check out my last blog post).
Last year, these were the three words that defined my pursuance of goals: Determination, Discipline, Diversity.
Determination- After many years trying my hand at acting, I am still here. I still believe that through hard work I can achieve success (though my definition of success is constantly evolving). I determined to work hard last year and I feel that I did.
Discipline- I made daily goals for myself on a spreadsheet and was disciplined about tackling them. Every day I checked them off the list- I worked out consistently, stuck to better food intake with My Fitness Pal, and was on time to work far more often amongst the other things already listed.
Diversity- I wanted to become a more well rounded individual. I tried some things I never would have tried like rock climbing, being in a relationship, wine tasting, whale watching, archery. I tried different martial arts schools and settled with a Kung Fu style that I hadn’t done before- Eagle Claw. I did different kinds of exercise (everything From Body Beast to Insanity) and I played a diverse set of roles from theatre to Tv to web. I increased my web-presence. I tried voice over, I finally signed up for singing lessons, and I joined Actor’s Equity.
Determination + Discipline + Diversity = Grit?
I would like things to be a little bit different moving forward this new year: more joyful and easier while still maintaining my discipline and diversity. The words I see for myself last year bring up associations with struggle and hardness. I don’t want to lose that edge, but I want abundance and generosity to to come more easily and freely. I would like to cultivate more awareness and presence while continuing to let the grit and gumption already working for me already continue. The mark of a professional and expert is that they make it look effortless. That’s what I want to strive for.
Abundance on the other hand looks like this.
Here are some thoughts of words I would like to be guiding words for this coming year- Creation, Abundance, Ease. To do this I plan to reinvigorate myself from the ground up. I am often very good at giving advice to people, but not so great at giving it to myself. If I were starting out, here are the things that I think I would need:
1. Cultivate Positive mental attitude- every day (especially spent acting and writing and playing music) is a gift. My inner purpose is to cultivate awareness and alignment. What I do is the lens through which that awareness is expressed. Meet each day with enthusiasm while detaching myself from any result. Tangibly I am doing this by trying to wake up early, write in the morning, continuing to read a lot, go to therapy every week, and carve out time in the evening for meditation and reflection. I’d like to let go of feeling sorry for myself and drawing comparisons to others. It’s a constant struggle, but this is my path. I hope to make it fun. I hope to feel safe while pushing my boundaries. 
Money Hole (the sequel to Moneyball)
2. Finances- I hope to take a little more of an active role with my finances by writing a business plan and being a little more regimented about how I spend my money. I do this naturally already pretty well, but it wouldn’t hurt to make a spreadsheet and a timetable.This will serve as a business plan with finances. I’d like to give up being disorganized and haphazard with my finances.
3. Get a day job with flexibility- I ALREADY have this. But I want to enjoy it more while continuing to work toward cutting back hours. Step one will help with my enjoyment as gratitude is part of my daily reflection and my day job is a source of gratitude for the money, flexibility, and benefits it gives me. Tangibly, I will submit myself online for acting jobs every day, look for alternate day jobs. I would like to let go of being late for work.
4. Shelter, Transportation- I already own a comfortable home environment and reliable transportation. I want to continue to keep them clean and new and exciting. I’ll continue including these things in my daily reflections. But this year I want to really make my home even more livable through painting with colors. I’d love to get a dining table, a new couch, a vacuum, and new microwave, new decorations. Incidentally I also need a new computer. And I want to keep them clean and comforting. I am not attached to the “things” per se, but look forward to using my home to express my creativity through style. I also have a great new car, but I have a goal of getting a bicycle and riding it to work, or the train station and taking the train to work. I plan to visit my parents in the bay area and pick up my old mountain bike and get it tuned up so I can ride it. I would like to let go of being dirty.
5. Community- Support and friends are so important. I want to continue the networking I am doing. My Book Club and Role playing is a priority in this regard. These groups feed my sense of camaraderie and community. I want to continue surround myself with people who are smarter than I and inspire me. I would like to expand the two groups. I will continue to reach out to people on facebook and e-mail to join and continue to meet with people face to face. Networking is a daily goal on my list and I hope to continue to check off the box weekly. I’d like to let go of any expectation I have of other people acting a certain way and also letting go of those that don’t influence me in a positive way.
I totally look like this minus the blond hair, boyish looks, and muscles. But otherwise, totally!
6. Health- I already have a really strong practice of working out to the Beach Body Programs. It’s probably the one area where I am very attached to the result (and often find myself falling short). I always seem to want it all great strength to weight ratio so that I am strong, but agile, explosive, flexible, and graceful. I want my body fat percentage to be 12% or below.Basically I’d like to look like Superman or Brad Pitt from Troy. LOL. Unrealistic. However what is realistic is this: taking care of my elbow injury until February. Feb- April a round of P90X2 to work stabilization and athleticism, April- June a round of Body Beast to gain muscle. I will alternate between those programs primarily while throwing in some Asylum (Vol. 1 & 2). I’ll continue doing Tai Chi and Stretching with Tai Cheng 2-3 days a week through all of it. I will continue to track my food intake on My Fitness Pal and eating cleanly. I’d also like to test run my fitness in real life a bit more with Eagle Claw Kung Fu and a bit more Rock Climbing. Last year I took a Dance class and that was fun. I’d like to further diversify and test drive by doing some sort of mud run and taking a surf lesson. Fitness is also about quality and not quantity. Concentration on form and doing each move with intensity. That helps create results. I’d like to give
up being connected to how I look in the mirror and more on health and performance, though I know this will be challenging for me. I’d also like to give up feeling super guilty if I miss a workout or eat something sweet as long as they are very rare exceptions and not harming my consistency.
Less of this…
Maybe more of this (though less boring)
7. Image- Along the lines of style in my home and fitness for myself, I would like my wardrobe to be diverse and flexible and to convey a sense of style, elegance, grace, and strength. Sounds kind of silly I know, but I’ve never really concentrated on clothing. I don’t want to put a ton of effort into it, but rather have a few choice items in my closet that are trendy, though not ostentatious. I want to feel more relaxed, comfortable, and strong in how I convey myself. I can do this by taking care of my current clothes (dry cleaners once a month or so) ironing them. I can make this part of the finances and carve out a little bit of money to finally buy some new things. I’d like to give up feeling frumpy or not good enough.
8. Creativity- I plan to continue to write at least 5 days a week. Currently my tangible goal is to finish a draft of the novel I am writing, and then to edit and complete the project. Looking into options for publication will be the next thing but right now I want to focus on the writing. I am also leaving myself open to any other collaborations and projects that come my way including something in the drawing and art vein. I would like to give up feeling that my creations are either unworthy or I am sitting on the bench rather than playing in the game.
9. Head Shots- Along more practical lines, this is the basic tool every actor needs. I already have great headshots, but they are starting to be a bit old, so I hope to get new ones before the year is out.
10. Website- I will continue to blog and update my website, increase my web-presence, and submit myself online. I hope to add more original video content as well.
11. Reel- Continue to add things to my Reel and make it better than before. Creating separate Theatrical and Comedy Reels is a thought on my list, but even more paramount is creating a Voice Over reel I can be proud of and use to seek representation in that area as well.
12. Classes- There are several classes that I want to take including Voice Over as this is an area I have not been able to concentrate as much on.
13. Agent- I have a great Agent in Susan Nathe and Associates. I hope to continue to have a great relationship with her and keeping open lines of communication. I would also like to take any Voice Over Reel I may be able to get and seek representation with it.
14. Credits- I cannot control my accumulation of credits on IMDB. But I can go to almost every audition that I get and I can create auditions for myself through workshops and projects for myself with my writing. I can continue to e-mail and keep open lines of communication with Casting Directors and people that I have met. I would like to let go of being connected to the “worthiness” of a project based on it’s budget or whose involved, but rather get connected to the artistic merits.
15. Casting director workshops- Two a month is financially feasible and it puts me in front of casting. I need to keep open lines of communications after the workshops as well. Again I want to continue to let go of the result of auditions and rather view them as joyous because I get to act for an audience and give my personal take on material.
16. Accountability- I would like to keep up with my acting accountability partner and blogging here to make sure that I am following through on the goals I set for myself. I would like to reach out and maybe expand the way I do this so that I feel pushed in new directions as well as feeling safe.
16. Play- Fun in all things is a key word and it will lead to a sense of drive and enthusiasm. I want to give up the feeling of “work” and hope that doing so will lead to more production and an interesting existence.
This image should probably be a metaphor for most everything.
Well Sunday was my 35th Birthday. I have to say that this birthday was kind of a let down for numerous reasons and left me with a depressed emotion. It wasn’t so much the fact that I was getting older as other circumstances surrounding it. Additionally, I totally cop to the fact that I have depression and things that happened definitely triggered it for me. But, I feel that for me the important thing is that my feelings do not deter me from trying to carry out things I plan for myself. With that, here is the latest on the 35 things for my 35th Birthday Challenge-
24. Restring your Fender – I have a Fender knock-off my sister won for me in some sort of drawing that was at a concert for a band named Third Rail, I believe. Along with the guitar, I also got some strings and a humbucker pick-up. So I thought, “Why not learn how to install it?) After watching a tutorial on how to restring a Fender (simple enough), I discovered that installing the humbucker was going to take cutting away the pick-guard to fit the pick up and the re-soldering the wires to make sure that the pick-up was electronically attached. I understand the principles and doesn’t look enormously hard, but I certainly have no cutting or sanding tool to dig into my pick-guard, nor have I ever soldered wires before. Hmm… this might be a project that takes some more time and effort than I thought. I can either re-string the guitar now and not worry about the pick-up, pay someone else too much to do it (Guitar Center), or keep it as a long term project to try to do. Not sure what I’ll do, but I did make the effort. So I’m counting it.
25. Get a massage – Finally a truly completed challenge. This was easy and something I’ve never really sought to do for myself. I am glad I did. I found a place in South Pasadena called the Massage Place which wasn’t exorbitant (like under $60 for an hour). My roommate gave me a little guff for not saying that I really preferred a female “massage therapist” (I had to look this up- masseur is a male, a masseuse is a female, and masseuse is apparently negative because they give more than just back rubs apparently). But I didn’t care I just wanted the best treatment to work out the knots. Of course I got a guy. It was cool though and got my back worked on. I think I may go back once every month or couple of months just to decompress. The price is totally worth it.
26. Host a Game Night – This was kind of a bummer for me. I really wanted to host a role-playing/table top game. I bought this game “The Resistance” and to play it I would need five players. After sending out invites and gathering a group I was really excited. I bought appetizers and wine and cleaned the whole condo, only to have several people tell me they got the date incorrect or that they were under a work deadline and cancel at the last minute. I did not even have the requisite number of people to play the game. I suppose I can’t fault people for honest mistakes or unforeseen circumstances. I suppose what was a little more disappointing were people who didn’t even answer e-mails or scheduled things instead of (possibly before) coming to my little soiree. I read about them on facebook the next day. Regardless, this was a good exercise in letting go of expectations I have regarding others, and focusin on the fact that my friends Matt R., Samantha B, and Katy S. DID show up and we had an excellent time playing Cards Against Humanity. I love you guys!
27. Ride your Bike to Work – This is a goal I’ve had for a long, long time. One of my tasks this birthday season was to buy a bike. So then of course I had to ride it to work! And I did. It definitely took my about ten minutes longer than driving and I felt a bit vulnerable cruising the streets of Downtown LA. I will not be able to ride as a commute regularly because I often have rehearsals after work or auditions across town during the day. I need access to my car. But on days where I have no commitments, this will be a nice break from the routine and a good way to save gas and exercise!
28. Hike to the Hollywood sign – I’ve lived in Los Angeles for almost 15 years now. I’ve hiked in Griffith Park numerous times but usually taken trails that sort of pass the Hollywood Sign at a distance and end up near the Observatory. So this time I sought out a path that would take me closer to the sign. I knew I didn’t have much time as had rehearsal before and my bud Matt R. had his Hollywood Pie Night event later that evening I was scheduled to attend. The path was actually pretty damn hard, and I’m in good shape. But I was rewarded with the bonus of the Wisdom Tree, a well-known local hiking landmark that I had not been expecting to pass on my journey, and then getting right behind the Hollywood Sign. I wanted to actually touch the sign but there were fences everywhere and time was short. All in all, a hike well worth it. I ended up running practically the 4 mile downhill return trip to make it to the pie night and a little free pie on my birthday.
Musings of Adam Burch 